


"Lance-ngitis"

by The_Sickfic_Sideblog



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, More Goofy than Sick, Sickfic, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 07:57:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10301657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sickfic_Sideblog/pseuds/The_Sickfic_Sideblog
Summary: Lance gets laryngitis, but truly makes the best of it.





	

“Laryngitis. In the middle of space, surrounded by six other healthy people, you caught  _ laryngitis _ .”

Lance shrugged. He was just as clueless as the rest of them as to how he pulled this one off.

“Technically, you can't catch laryngitis,” Pidge corrected while typing away at her computer, “It's an inflammation of the larynx that can be caused by a variety of things. You can catch a virus that gives you laryngitis, but not laryngitis itself. Since we're in space it's probably not due to a virus, or else we'd all have it. We can guess it's from overuse and irritation.”

“Overuse?!” Lance rasped.

“You had a karaoke night with Hunk on the Balmera, and whatever they gave you to drink produced an intoxicating effect.”

Hunk rubbed his forehead, “Damn right it did.”

“So what I'm pulling from this is that Lance won't be able to talk for a while?” Keith asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Lance scowled.

“He  _ shouldn't _ if he knows what's good for him,” Shiro replied, “And we should get him talking again as soon as possible. Unfortunately, we have no means of medicine aside from rest.”

Coran perked up, “Actually if this isn't a virus, we have plenty of Altean medicine on the ship! Our biologies are pretty similar, so there should be no harmful effects!” He paused, “I think.”

* * *

 

The first thing Coran offered was a small, cough drop like medicine. Lance popped it in his mouth and sucked on it for the rest of the day. It wasn't the most appetizing of flavors, but it was better than most Altean foods.

Halfway through the day, Hunk started giggling whenever he saw Lance. The others smirked a tiny bit, but Hunk found it the most hilarious. Lance made a shrugging motion.

“Sorry, Lance. It’s just...” Hunk had to press his lips together to stop himself, “your lips are green and you look like that fish we smuggled into the Garrison and put in Iverson’s coffee!”

Lance’s eyes went wide and scrambled for a reflective object. He settled for snatching Keith’s knife and looking at the blade. Hunk was unfortunately very right. His lips were bright green, bordering on Pidge’s bayard. He tried to scream, but only a breathy gasp came out instead.  _ Oh god, my whole mouth is green! _

Keith swiped his blade back, almost nicking Lance’s nose, “It’s probably that weird cough drop Coran gave you. Remember how Allura turned purple? It probably has something to do with that.”

“At least she got to choose her color!” Lance whispered harshly, “I look like the Green Lion! Can’t I have at least been blue?!”

Hunks laughing abruptly stopped. They were staring at him before, but now they were much more curious and confused.

“Whoa...”

“What is it?!”

Keith handed back his knife. Lance looked at his mouth again. It was the same sky-blue as his helmet. Instead of his initial horrified reaction, Lance began to grin. It was the kind of shit-eating grin Hunk knew all too well.

“How are you going to abuse this?”

~~~

_ “Shiro!” _

The Black Paladin came screeching around the corner at the sound of Lance wailing. Did someone hurt Lance? Did something go wrong with the Altean medicine? He sounded like he was in absolute agony!

Shiro’s eyes rested on Lance. He was on the ground, mouth completely bloodied and oozing red. All the alarm systems in Shiro’s head went off as he fell to his knees next to Lance, “What happened?!”

Lance coughed weakly, as Shiro pulled him up, “Keith....completely decked me...”

“What?! Why would Keith-” Shiro took a closer look at Lance’s mouth, checking for broken teeth, but found none, “....wait, what-” There wasn’t even any blood. And Lance was starting to giggle.

“I...don’t understand...a-are you hurt?” Shiro said slowly. Was Lance actually hurt and delirious? He got his answer when the paladin’s mouth and lips faded from blood-red to a pale yellow.

“I’m not hurt, I’m the Yellow Lion.”

Without hesitation, Shiro dropped Lance back on the ground. He stood up calmly and walked to the intercom.

“Coran? Is there any other medicine we can give Lance? He’s not allowed to have those drops anymore.”

* * *

 

The next morning, Lance was given a spoonful of thick syrup. It left a strange tingle on his tongue that remained as he attended training.

He lazily watched at his other paladins danced across the training floor. He wished he could join them. It was nice to take a day or so of rest, but now he was getting fidgety. It was just his throat - he didn’t need his voice to fight!

Still, he followed his friends with his eyes. Shiro was one of the more interesting ones to watch, all of his fights in the arena peeking through when he wasn’t paying attention. All of them were working so hard, Lance could practically see the heat radiated off of them.

Lance blinked. Sure, Shiro was working hard, but he was looking a little more red than usual. And he kept getting red. Even his armor was starting to turn orange. But his metal arm was fading to a deep blue.

Lance looked to the rest of the paladins. Keith, who’d been training absolutely non-stop, was glowing a bright white. When he poured his iced water bottle on top of his head, the white extinguished from white, to red, to yellow, down to a dark green, and slowly started turning back again.

The Blue Paladin jumped out of his seat, “I have heat vision!”

The other paladins turned in confusion. Pidge never sounded so skeptical. “You have... _ heat vision?” _

“Yeah, look!” Lance pulled Shiro over, “Shiro’s red! And his arm is blue because-”

“Lance, don’t strain your voice.” Shiro reminded. Lance rolled his eyes.

“Who cares?! Your arm is blue cause it’s metal! And Keith’s is almost completely white!”

Keith’s cheeks and the tip of his nose grew even more white. Hunk burst into laughter again.

“You’re saying Keith’s hot?”

Lance’s face turned white as well.

* * *

 

Like the cough drop, the Lance didn’t take the syrup long, and it ultimately didn’t help the inflammation. With this, Coran pulled out all the stops. He produced a small white tablet, which Lance was instructed to let dissolve on the back of his throat.

“It’s supposed to super-charge your throat!” he explained, “You’ve been ruining it so much by screaming with the infection. If this doesn’t help you, I don’t know what can. You’ll have to wait it out.”

And super-charge it did. Upon the private discovery that he could almost perfectly mimic any voice, Lance snuck into Pidge’s workshop. She was working with Hunk on modifying rover they picked up in a scrap yard. Perfect. Lance kept himself behind a wall and cleared his throats.

_ “Cadets!” _

Pidge and Hunk jumped out of their skin, scrambling to find the correct salute position, “Yes, Iverson, Sir!” Lance instantly regretted that he couldn't see their faces.

_ “Would one of you care to tell me why you’ve been missing weeks and weeks of classes?!” _

Lance could hear them shuffling and swallowing nervously. Pidge answered first.

“Well, uh...sir...I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but...w-we’re in space. We’ve been fighting in an intergalactic war against the Galra, sir.”

_ “I’ve noticed, Cadet. That doesn’t excuse your absence!” _

The last emphasis pulled Lance into a coughing fit, giving away his cover. When Hunk dared to look around the corner, steam practically came out of his ears.

“Lance, I thought I was gonna get killed by Iverson! That’s scarier than being killed by a Galra soldier!”

Lance wheezed among the coughs and laughter, “I wish I could’ve seen your faces!”

In the end, Pidge restrained herself from beating Lance to a pulp, only because he was still fighting the infection. After demands from the rest of the crew, Lance vowed to only use his own voice. When the tablet wore off, he was back to his normal self.

No one thought they would be more relieved to hear Lance talk like normal again.


End file.
